Millie: okay bobby brown songs are HILARIOUS.
Millie: ben made this spotify playlist of all East Coast Family-related songs and it is cracking me up
April: one of my FAVORITE THINGS IN THIS WORLD is when, during “don’t be cruel,” to demonstrate how cold this bitch is, he says, “WHEN I PUT A DRINK UP, YOU WON’T EVEN TOAST”
Millie: YES!! all his songs are rife with this kind of shit
April: like, is that it? if that’s the WORST she’s doing, she’s not that bad.
Millie: i mean, where does he get this shit
Millie: “i GUESS we’re gonna have to take control”
Millie: I GUESS
Millie: or when he’s like “some ask the question: why am i so real?”
Millie: SOME ASK IT
April: “why is bobby so real?”
April: like asking their friends that
Millie: this small group of people being like, “why is he so real?”
April: I MADE THIS MONEY, YOU DIDN’T. RIGHT, TED?
April: “confirm this for me, ted.”
April: that’s teddy riley, right?
Millie: “and as a matter of fact, it blows my mind”
Millie: now that i’m thinking about it, YES
April: “A MATTER OF FACT” HAHAHAHAHAHA
Millie: yeah, ted riles
Millie: to me that is a fucking showman
April: okay i’m listening to “don’t be cruel” now
Millie: just people riffing on shit like that
April: GOD I LOVE THIS ALBUM
April: i got this CASSETTE from columbia house, no shit
Millie: bobby brown, prince, david lee roth
April: wore it the fuck out
Millie: always just coming up with shit on the cuff
Millie: the cover is hilarious
April: uh, the KING of riffs, fucking daryl hall
Millie: he’s standing in front of like, a marble countertop
April: “i want you jackie — i want you more than human eyes can see.”
Millie: the best thing about this era of music, in all of the imagery
Millie: it’s like guys in business suits standing with one hand on a black dining room chair
Millie: like “i demand to be taken seriously”
April: HAHAHA YES
April: it’s like EXECUTIVE HARDNESS
April: like, “i’m hard, but i make money in the boardroom”
Millie: “i see NOTHING wrong with spreading myself around.”
April: dude, please don’t forget about “on our own”
April: i swear to you i listen to that song like ONCE A WEEK.
Millie: yeah i know! that’s why i was like “i GUESS we’re gonna”
Millie: i just said that
April: haha shit oh yeah
Millie: just like that random stuff he comes up with makes me laugh so much
April: like shrugging, “I GUESS”
Millie: yeah - it was like the first thing i said hahaha
Millie: and he’s like “yeah, i think this is gonna be one of those funky ones”
April: dude i love this song so much.
Millie: yep - headed in that direction
Millie: “listen, i heard the first few bars and guys look - it’s gonna be a funky one”
April: “oh, you think it is? well, you are making it. you control the level of funky.”
Millie: i argue that you knew it was funky before you even fucking went to the studio
Millie: DON’T ACT LIKE YOU DON’T KNOW
April: “look, we work for you. you tell us how funky to get and we will twist the knobs.”
April: okay now i’m all bobby brown all day on youtube
Millie: knobs with a tape label that just say FUNKY in sharpie
April: okay please watch the video for “rock wit’cha” now.
April: him dancing in a vest in front of bubbles
April: okay real question
April: was he the ONLY dude with gumby hair?
April: i feel like he was
April: i feel like he tried to start a thing and no one followed?
Millie: oh my god this “sexy city bedroom”
Millie: “it’s okay THICKNESS”
Millie: my god
Millie: my god this video
April: dude he looks like 16 in it
April: dude if a guy played this song for me right now in 2013 he could get it
Millie: okay listen - we need a live show where we play videos like this and dog them out
Millie: i just want to fucking talk about how HILARIOUSLY SHITTY this video is
April: i’m saying!!!!!!!!!!!!
April: but i am FEELING this song still
April: humping the floor dance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
April: haha that waiter serving the PIE or whatever
April: “share a drink of wine”
Millie: okay, bobby brown was born in ‘69
Millie: and “don’t be cruel” was in ‘88
Millie: so he was like 19 years old
Millie: HUMPING THE FLOOR at 19
April: holy shit!
April: yeah, makes sense, since he was like 12 in new edition hahaha
Millie: okay - this video is fucking hilarious: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0FKzPfsxA4
Millie: he is a straight up SHOWMAN
April: dude this song.
April: i’m like, “fuck you, ‘let it be’!”
Millie: where does he get this shit?!
April: I LOVE THIS SONGGGGGGGG
Millie: hahahaha this fucking 19 year old little pimp with this hilarious swag
Millie: i love it
April: GUMBY HAIR
April: i’m telling you, i feel like NO OTHER DUDES got this hair.
April: “you would even talk to MAE”
Millie: his rap in the middle is so great
April: i would date 19-year-old bobby brown.
Millie: 110% confidence
April: SUSPENDERS AND BIKE SHORTS
April: “a real live fantasy”
April: that literally makes zero sense.
April: “a completely real mirage!”
Millie: i bet if you tried to date him at this age he would be SO goofy
Millie: just like shimmying all over the house
April: what! NAW
April: that CONFIDENCE
April: “i’m chillin’ much hard, AS YOU ALL KNOW”
Millie: it would be like being in the relationship that was on Martin
April: “word is already out about how hard i’m chillin’”
Millie: and you would be like COME ON BOBBY
April: dude i’m watching this rap again.
April: naw dude, it think he has the confidence of a much older man
April: wait, does he say “my name is bobby and i understand” ?
Millie: i thought it was “my name is bobby and not uncle sam”
April: HAHAHAHAHA SHUT UP
Millie: but i have traditionally been wrong about this
April: hold on, going zapruder on this
April: YOU MIGHT BE RIGHT!
Millie: wait what?!
Millie: how am i right?!?! i am never right!
April: dude you might be right.
Millie: i am speechless!
April: but see now i don’t know if you just got in my head
April: like since you said that now i think that’s it?
April: but i think you might be right
Millie: yeah i’m trying to figure out the context
April: i took it to facebook
Millie: like “i really don’t give a damn - my name is bobby brown and not uncle sam”
April: DUDE I THINK YOU ARE RIGHT.
Millie: why does not giving a damn = uncle sam
April: well, i think it’s like, “uncle sam has to care about your shit, but i don’t”
Millie: Uncle Sam, REQUIRED to give a shit
Millie: i cannot stop laughing
April: uncle sam has to answer your questions about your taxes or whatever
April: but i, bobby brown, don’t give a damn about any of your probs
Millie: wait, who is uncle sam? i thought he was taxes
Millie: does uncle sam care? or does he just want money
Millie: perhaps this is another conversation
April: okay i got back up from some crew guys here
April: they say it’s uncle sam!
April: uncle sam wants taxes and wants you to join the army
April: but bobby brown doesn’t care either way i guess?
Millie: okay, so i guess wanting taxes and the army thing is “caring”
Millie: meanwhile, bobby brown doesn’t give a damn
April: i mean, i guess? in this context?
Millie: if you pay taxes
Millie: or join the army
April: “i’m bobby brown and i don’t give a damn about ANYTHING, not even taxes or the army”
April: dude i’d wear a jacket with my name down the sleeve.
Millie: i was just gonna ask where do you get those giant letters spelling out EVERY LITTLE STEP
Millie: i want some
April: i will get a tailor to make me a jacket with APRIL down one sleeve
April: this song also has my favorite thing at the end: SAX
Millie: man this is the greatest day
April: “when i’m rocking on the microphone, people gotta leave me alone”
April: i love the idea of people walking up to him in the booth with those paint swatches like, “bobby, which one for the living room?” and he’s like, “I’M ROCKING ON THE MICROPHONE, CAN’T THIS WAIT?”
Millie: he is OBSESSED with people leaving him alone
Millie: and people allowing him to have money
April: i’m listening to “don’t be cruel” again
April: IF I PUT A DRINK UP, YOU WON’T EVEN TOAST
April: i still laugh so fucking hard at that
Millie: i’m listening to my prerogative
April: hold up let me get on that
Millie: “getting girls is how i live”
Millie: this guy is fucking hilarious
April: dude this groove though.
April: “WHY AM I SO REAL?”
Millie: hahaha it’s like - i’m nine years ago singing “it’s my prerogative!” like i even knew what that meant
Millie: thanks for the vocab word
April: BURGER KING HEADSET
April: also, it’s like, WHO was trying to tell him what to do?!
Millie: maybe he was obsessed with being left alone with his money b/c he was a child star?
Millie: that’s the only thing i can imagine
Millie: to get DEEP into BB
April: “please leave me alone with my piles of money”
April: “stop asking me about taxes and the army — i do not give a damn.”
Millie: he’s so obsessed with tell you he doesn’t give a damn
April: i do not remember hearing anyone gossiping about bobby brown.
Millie: okay this video
April: like even in the ENQUIRER or whatever
Millie: it’s like - where are these videos being filmed
April: a warehouse?
Millie: is this on the set of Metropolis?!
April: “WHY YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT ME?”
Millie: this was such a thing in the late ‘80s
Millie: WET WAREHOUSES
April: OH TOTALLYYYYYYYYYY
April: like, “i gotta go do another show in a damp abandoned warehouse we set up some lights in”
April: that is the start of MANY ’80s videos
Millie: i want a guy i know to wear this bobby brown suit
April: i love how being obsessed with telling people you don’t give a damn is the definition of GIVING A DAMN
Millie: big shoulders
Millie: two piece
April: DON’T GET ME WRONG, I’M REALLY NOT SOUPED
Millie: don’t get me wrong, i really like soup
April: hahahaha of course i totally thought that was it for a while
April: i love a rich adult going, “I CAN DO WHAT I WANT TO DO!”
April: yeah, no duh!