January 2012
1 post
Millie: i am listening to roxette April: HAHAHA! “OF NOTE: roxette” April: like, all the jams? April: even deep cuts? Millie: i mean. Millie: a few deep cuts. Millie: i might be ready to say this Millie: but i don’t think there is any other band in history who has written more “pick me up in a convertible and drive me to the mall” songs April: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA April: i...
November 2011
1 post
Millie: can i talk to you about “get me bodied” for a second? April: hahahahahahahahahahahahaha April: yes. Millie: okay look Millie: i might really feel this April: i’m going to listen to it as we chat Millie: this song and video is basically like, the most mindblowing thing made in like 50 years Millie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RioOJ7dZxuw Millie: just like the whole...
October 2011
1 post
Millie: PHILADELPHIA FREEDOM TOOK ME KNEE HIGH TO A MAN April: dude April: i did karaoke at this place the other night that had ZERO elton john in the book April: i was like WHAT THE SHIT IS THIS. BURN THIS PLACE DOWN. Millie: HAHAHAHAHAHA April: it was seriously FUCKED UP Millie: yeah that’s a no brainer Millie: also,i kind of can’t believe how many jams elton john had April:...
June 2011
1 post
April: OH! you know what i heard the other day for the first time in a million years? that fucking clay aiken “invisible” song April: aka MOST RAPIST ANTHEM EVER Millie: wait, i don’t remember that one! let me look it up April: i really forgot how FUCKING CREEPY the lyrics are! Millie: oh YEAH!!! Millie: HAHAHAHAHA Millie: all these people on the street are like “alright!” Millie: ...
February 2011
1 post
April: YOU DERE? Millie: yeah i’m here! April: i was coming to tell you about how i think about the terribleness of platform flip-flops at least once a day. Millie: HAHAHAHA April: like, it weighs heavy on my mind Millie: i’m really surprised that nobody thinks high-heeled tennis shoes are awful April: i mean, they are April: of course they are April: but platform flip-flops are just...
November 2010
2 posts
April: i’m obsessed with the joker money parade. April: i cannot stop thinking about it. Millie: i admire it April: i really have that as a life goal April: to be rich enough to re-create it Millie: finally, someone makes that a priority April: like, it’s kind of the ONLY reason i want to be rich someday. Millie: what about that scrooge mcduck swimming pool of gold coins? April: i...
Millie: …but i don’t want to hear about his life Millie: I DON’T WANT YO LIFE April: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHA April: fucking VARSITY BLOOZ April: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA Millie: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Millie: BLOOZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Millie: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA BLOOZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! April: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Millie: I JUST...
October 2010
4 posts
April: BTW April: BY THE FUCKING WAY April: GORILLA PLAYING SAXOPHONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! April: i am LOSING IT Millie: RIGHT?!???????????????? April: where is that shit?!?!?! Millie: we figured out it was in toledo ohio Millie: you should see the other links in the comments Millie: someone found his homepage or some shit! April: dude. we should pool some money together to get him to atlanta....
Millie: OH MY GOD Millie: OH MY GOD Millie: OH MY GOD Millie: PEEP FACEBOOK Millie: PEEP FACEBOOK Millie: PEEP FACEBOOK April: okay! April: what happened? Millie: ARSENIO FUCKING BECKMAN April: HOLY FUCK Millie: ARSENIO BECKMAN April: HOLY FUCKING SHIT FOREVER Millie: DUDE I AM CRYING Millie: I AM CRYING April: HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? April: FROM WHENCE DID THIS COME?! Millie: I JUST FOUND IT April:...
April: realness: April: when i get down, listening to “yakety sax” in its entirety momentarily helps April: like, for that four minutes i literally feel like the concept of being sad is stupid Millie: HAHAHAHA Millie: yeah, that’s kind of the instant cure Millie: impossible to be sad while that’s playing April: it is short-lived though April: it’s a pretty hard fall...
April: http://www.toplessrobot.com/2010/08/the_worst_thing_i_have_ever_ever_posted.php#more Millie: okay. Millie: okay. April: i don’t think I can watch it. Millie: that has got to be one of the most disturbing things ever made. Millie: yeah, you might not be able to handle it. Millie: i mean, i think ET is horrifying as you know Millie: and even if ET IS NOW A GIRL GETTING FUCKED IN THE ASS...
September 2010
1 post
April: can i be REAL REAL REAL REAL REAL with you? Millie: YES! April: you know who i think is kind of terrible? April: the decemberists. April: they sound like they might be giants are trying to be serious. Millie: HAHAHAHAHA Millie: um, i HATE their shits. Millie: i’m serious. April: dude. that guy’s voice. April: it works for john linnell because he’s singing about shoehorns...
August 2010
1 post
Millie: GOD, watched that documentary ‘zoo’ about that guy who gets fucked to death by a horse and I think it destroyed my innocence forever. April: yeah, i read about that, and i know some people who have watched the actual video of the dude doing it with the horse, but i know i can’t handle that Millie: in the movie they only played a few minutes of the audio and i thought i...
July 2010
1 post
April: oh my GOD, throwing horns has been SO DILUTED April: like, it means NOTHING now Millie: I KNOW Millie: it’s a total EMPTY GESTURE at this point April: HAHAHAHA TOTALLY April: like all of these skanks keep doing it into the camera, and all these fucking moms from, like, DORAVILLE at this bret michaels show are doing it too April: it’s MEANINGLESS Millie: dude, the song he has...
June 2010
6 posts
Millie: i just came from the mall. went to B REP. April: NOICE! April: haha “b rep!” April: “i go there a lot.” Millie: “honey, throw a half dozen of these windbreakers in that bag for me” April: hahaha Millie: i made a male friend of mine buy this grey sportscoat because it was TIMELESSLY HOT April: NOICE! Millie: we have to steer these dudes in the right...
(This conversation originally took place on January 30, 2009, when this was first posted.) April: OKAY DUDE April: HOLY FUCK April: MORRISSEY DONE LOST HIS DAMN MIND April: http://www.morrissey-solo.com/article.pl?sid=09/01/30/1824246 Millie: UH OKAY THEN. Millie: OKAY Millie: OKAY Millie: OKAY April: RIGHT? April: RIGHT? Millie: WHY IS EVERYONE NAKED April: I AM HAVING A HEART ATTACK Millie: OH...
Millie: henry thomas messaged me on myspace April: SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH April: SHUT UP! Millie: yes! April: what did he say???????? Millie: i asked him if he was playing a show and he wrote me and was like “sorry millie, apparently i missed the boat this year - but i’ll be there next year!” April: WAIT April: henry thomas from “e.t.” April: right? Millie: i just...
April: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07_rnlBezQg — UH-EATIN’ CHOC’LIT PIEEEEEEE Millie: CUKIN CHEEKIN UP TO FRY April: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA Millie: hahahahahaha i totally remember you played BOTH those songs for me Millie: in your room at your parents’ house April: is that not THE MOST REDNECK SONG EVER?! April: hahahaha i’m like, “listen to my history” Millie:...
Millie: http://www.amazon.com/Boss-was-Killer-Next-Victim/dp/0943247098 Millie: HAHAHAHA that fucking book cover Millie: nice PIXELATED photo April: DUDE I KNOW April: hahahaha YES! April: and, like, just ARIAL for the title April: also, is it even a real book? or did that lady just print it out on her inkjet? Millie: hahaha Millie: “I was the next victim” April: hahahahaha April:...
April: HAHA DUDE GET READY April: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvG6LeGWU2g#t=01m22s April: “this is an excellent movie.” Millie: OH. MY. GOD. Millie: HE LOOKS CRAZY. April: dude. Millie: OKAY LISTEN April: the most DAMNING part of this is that he thinks it’s a GOOD MOVIE! hahahaha Millie: I will give him a pass for doing that AT THE TIME Millie: like, it was a new thing — it...
May 2010
1 post
Millie: HIT ‘EM UP STYLE Millie: hahahahahahah i love saying that shit April: hahaha BLU CANTRELL Millie: i need to listen to that song RIGHT NOW April: hahahaha April: she’s like the female lou bega Millie: THE Millie: FEMALE Millie: LOU Millie: BEGA April: HAHAHHHAHAHAHAHHAHA Millie: HOLY FUCKING GOD April: SERIOUSLY! April: the similarities are STAGGERING Millie: I JUST FUCKING...
April 2010
1 post
April: i don’t know why i’m still kinda feelin’ jack white, because he gets more vampire-y every day Millie: dude, nothing beats that fucking COLD MOUNTAIN hair he had April: HAHAHAHAHAHA April: Cold Mountain Hair Millie: dude, jack white is like 4,994 feet tall right? Millie: that’s why. April: i think so. and you know how we feel about that. Millie: i mean, that’s...
February 2010
6 posts
April: let me tell you this right now. April: huey lewis looks good for 60. Millie: yeah but listen. Millie: that duet he did with gwyneth paltrow is an ATROCITY Millie: like, that one song might have erased one of his jams from back in the day Millie: for me April: oh totally April: listen, you know i love him April: but katie was like, “did you see that movie he was in?” April: and...
April: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_NOpy8-rVg April: i don’t remember the ACTING INTRO! April: “it’s kinda crazy, yo” Millie: ALWAYS RIDING UP ON A MOTORCYCLE Millie: on donnie, you can depend April: hahahahaha, seriously April: HAHAHA the beginning FLAMENCO GUITAR Millie: HAHAHA FLAMENCO Millie: flamenco going into beatles April: flamenco/beatles hybrid April: i love...
Millie: I cannot stop watching the video for “Step By Step” by the New Kids. Millie: CANNOT STOP. April: HAHAHAHAHA April: AND WHY SHOULD YOU? Millie: HAHAHAHAHAHA “AND WHY SHOULD YOU” April: SERIOUSLY THOUGH Millie: jordan’s dance moves are UNBELIEVABLE. April: send me the link now so i can join you Millie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9pE_WKWDW8 Millie: dude,...
Millie: okay. you have to see this Millie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukjnrXTTvPY April: okay. April: where did you get this. Millie: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Millie: dude, my two awesome co-workers just sent it to me Millie: they’re my new favorite band. Millie: and there’s TONS OF OTHER SONGS April: CAT IN THE HAT HAT Millie: with BURGER KING HEADSET April: is the band called COMPLETE?...
April: oh hey, these people are cool: http://www.mtv.com/movies/news/articles/1631572/story.jhtml Millie: i knew this was going to happen. April: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA April: “i saw this coming.” Millie: like, thanks for creating another WEIRD THING for people to be geeks about April: dude, some of these CHAMPS are having “withdrawal symptoms.” Millie: right?! Millie:...
April: okay April: in the o.g. “mother” video April: danzig is hot as fuck April: he’s like a SEXY WOLFMAN Millie: i’m saying Millie: like first album era danzig is my TIGER BEAT CRUSH April: HAHAHAHA April: i love how he’s NEVER NOT IN A MUSCLE-T April: holler at this ’80s MOM HOT CHICK: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qC-W0_cv85E Millie: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA god...
January 2010
7 posts
April: I AM CRYING: http://vimeo.com/7577554 April: DUDE I AM CRYING April: dude, PEEP the link i just sent you April: RIGHT NOW April: like i am CRYING LAUGHING Millie: hang on Millie: IN A JET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Millie: HOLY FUCK April: POLAR BEAR BLOWS UP THE GALAXY!!!!!!!!!! April: dude, i am DYINGGGGG April: HAHAHAHAHA Millie: wait, so what is this INTRO song Millie: i forget Millie:...
April: i gotta be honest April: it’s weird to me that there are people in this world who don’t like jay-z Millie: who doesn’t like jay-z? April: i’ve heard some people say that April: and that is just WEIRD, plain and simple Millie: i’m trying to think of something else that everyone with an inch of taste likes Millie: pizza? April: yeah, i mean, jay-z being good is...
(Our friend Thara posing with the taxidermied bear at my parents’ house): Millie: my dad: worst taste ever, 1954-present April: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA April: no way man April: my stepdad would give him a run for his money April: i mean, my parents think JEFF FOXWORTHY is the funniest person who ever lived Millie: okay but here’s what’s fucking CUTTHROAT about your dad Millie: which i...
April: HAHAHAHA, I love how ben said, “Boys Say Go is the gayest 3:00 in recorded history, including gay porn.” Millie: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA April: dude, how is not ONE MEMBER of depeche mode gay? like HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? Millie: I KNOW. it’s seriously like some secret of the freemasons shit Millie: i mean, VINCE CLARKE IS MARRIED. Millie: to a WOMAN. April: no one involved in...
April: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA KATIE JUST BROUGHT THIS UP April: REMEMBER THIS SHIT? April: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D9cQOcAC_K8 Millie: OH Millie: MY FUCKING Millie: GOD Millie: WAAAAAZUPWITCHU April: HAHAHAHHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA April: WE ARE DYING Millie: DUDE THIS IS THE WORST SONG/VIDEO OF ALL TIME April: HAHAHHAHAHAHHA I KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWW April: EVERYTHING ABOUT IT IS HORRIFIC April: nice LOOK...
April: teenage morgan freeman is legit starting to creep me out April: just how there is NO EVIDENCE AT ALL April: i feel like teenage morgan freeman is like some roswell-type shit April: like area 51 Millie: I KNOW!!!! Millie: maybe he’s a replicant April: HAHAHAHA I’M SAYING! Millie: he didn’t have a youth April: really doe! April: it’s some conspiracy shit! Millie: i...
April: yo, can i tell you a secret? Millie: DUH! April: this picture kind of turns me on: http://californiawives.files.wordpress.com/2009/08/andrewwet.jpg April: like i just realized that April: i don’t know why. Millie: okay. this is why we should talk EVEN MORE than we do now. April: i feel like i would do on a date with andrew wk even though he is totally against type for me Millie: i...
December 2009
1 post
April: yo, PG kind of rules April: dude, when these videos were out, for us at that age, they were like MIND-MELTERS April: this was the TRIPPIEST SHIT EVER to me April: like, “WHOA LOOK AT THESE FX!!!!!!!!!” Millie: so yeah, i know that “sledgehammer” is like the dorkiest song you ever did hear April: yeah, but it kind of rules? Millie: but i’ve somehow convinced...
November 2009
4 posts
April: okay, i can’t stop listening to “what up with that” Millie: what, what is that? Millie: literally WHAT UP WITH THAT w/ “what up with that” April: HAHA April: from that SNL sketch Millie: i haven’t seen the sketch! April: like the ONLY sketch that’s funny now April: with kenan singing April: http://www.hulu.com/watch/102975 Millie: hold pls April:...
Millie: new john mayer video: fakest fun EVER Millie: reaching new HEIGHTS in fake fun April: HAHAHAHA April: send it to me now. April: faker fun than AMY GRANT VIDEOS? April: not possible. Millie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZwVjys2bQI Millie: he both raised and DESTROYED the bar Millie: also, i never thought i’d say this Millie: but i kind of thought john mayer hung out with cooler...
April: listen, i kind of love shakira. April: that bitch is HELLAFIED BONKERS, but doesn’t know OR care April: i love that shit Millie: HOLY SHIT, ME TOO!!! Millie: listen, i FEEL her for some reason Millie: like, her SHIT. Millie: meaning, i totally understand the type of girl she is April: surface talk? her body is NUTS April: so there’s that April: but i feel like she doesn’t...
April: dude. robin thicke. April: robin fucking thicke. April: let’s do this. Millie: he and his wife are like GATTICA Millie: perfect specimens April: basically. April: i remember his first video where he had long hair and was a BIKE MESSENGER or some shit April: riding around to that beethoven sample or whatever April: i didn’t give a care April: but NOW Millie: haha what?! April:...
October 2009
5 posts
April: HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHA April: “The Coral Reefer Band is the touring and recording band of American popular music singer-songwriter Jimmy Buffett. Originally it was a fictional band consisting of the imaginary members Marvin Gardens, Kay Pasa, Al Vacado and Kitty Litter.” April: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coral_Reefer_Band April: AL VACADO April: Jimmy Buffett and the Coral...
April: fuckin’ hot dudes, man April: they have it so fucking easy April: no one ever dumps them! Millie: EXACTLY. Millie: they’ll just act like babies and women will feel bad for them. April: they just have their pick of the litter and move on to new hot ladies April: because they’re never getting dumped! Millie: well. i have to believe they’ll get their comeuppance...
Millie: okay, i have seen too many real-life zooey deschanels April: oh no April: GOD April: BARFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF Millie: dude. April: I HATE INDIENESS SO MUCH RIGHT NOW April: i swear i want to start wearing BIG JOHNSON T-SHIRTS OR SOME SHIT Millie: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Millie: let’s start wearing CRACKER BARREL UNIFORMS April: i fucking do! April: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA April: then people will...
April: how about i like hot pockets April: like genuinely Millie: you know what dude? Millie: i SWEAR to god i’m not being a snob here Millie: i swear this to you Millie: but i don’t really like frozen foods? Millie: like as a genre? April: right right April: HAHAHAHA GENRE Millie: i’m trying to think of exceptions Millie: okay, i like trader joe’s mac and cheese Millie:...
April: black jack taco: delicious April: taco bell is upping their sauce game Millie: tell me now… Millie: is this super hot ? April: spicy pepper jack sauce is on point April: naw April: just right, goldielocks steez Millie: they should just make you a novelty food tester Millie: you’re in the wrong business, kid April: HAHAHAHAHA April: GOD I WISH April: i would EXCEL at that...
April: i might be listening to “easy lover” on repeat. Millie: nothing wrong with that. April: hahahaha April: i can be myself around you. Millie: i’m honored! April: HAHAHAHA Millie: listen, it’s probably my fave phil collins jam? April: solo? of course April: otherwise i gotta go with “that’s all” April: if we’re including genesis Millie: hahahaha...
September 2009
8 posts
April: i think i hate songs about “partying” April: like literal “let’s PARTY!” songs April: this fucking miley cyrus atrocity made me realize that Millie: HAHAHAHAHA GOD ME NEITHER April: like songs were they actually say “party” in them Millie: one of the worst songs of all time is “everybody have fun tonight” by wang chung Millie: like ONE...
Millie: how about i was just standing next to alec motherfuckin’ baldwin. Millie: how about that shit. April: SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH RIGHT NOWWWWWWWW April: CAMPHONE PIXXXX? April: SNEAKY CAMPHONE PIX? April: does he look good in person? April: does he smell like BRUT? April: like a MAN? Millie: dude. motherfucker COMMANDS. Millie: that’s all you need to know. April: OH MAN April:...
Millie: i don’t know much about presidents. i’m like bookends with that shit — i know george washington and bill clinton, and that’s it April: i mean, i know some stuff, but i don’t know facts about millard fillmore or whatever Millie: wasn’t teddy roosevelt the one who walked the streets like a cop? April: HAHA, WHAT? Millie: yeah, i remember hearing he was down as...
Millie: i just saw Sisqo eating in the cafeteria. based on the food alone, i don’t know if i’ve ever witnessed a harder fall from grace. April: OKAY SISQO. April: TELL ME NOW April: was he eating SBARROS? Millie: I can’t believe you just said that. Millie: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH I AM LAUGHING MY ASS OFF April: HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA April: did he still have SILVER HAIR BY KRYLON? Millie:...