April: i might be listening to “easy lover” on repeat.
Millie: nothing wrong with that.
April: i can be myself around you.
Millie: i’m honored!
Millie: listen, it’s probably my fave phil collins jam?
April: solo? of course
April: otherwise i gotta go with “that’s all”
April: if we’re including genesis
Millie: all i think about is HOBOS when i think of that song
Millie: i have no idea why
Millie: is it the video i’m thinking of?
April: “that’s all” = hobos to you?
Millie: i feel like it’s a hobo anthem or something!
Millie: i honestly don’t know WHY though?!
April: i don’t either?
April: unless it’s like, you give a hobo change and he goes, “THAT’S ALL?!”
Millie: oh HERE’S WHY: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xigxw_phil-collins-genesis-thats-all
Millie: the band is dressed as hobos
Millie: with matching fingerless hobo gloves
April: OH! i only picture the karaoke video when i hear it
April: since i ALWAYS sing it at karaoke WITHOUT FAIL
Millie: i feel like phil collins did a lot of hobo songs though
Millie: or like DRESSED like a hobo a lot?
Millie: technically just a song about homeless people
April: well, yeah
Millie: BUT I SWEAR there’s another video where he dressed like a hobo
April: oh my GOD, there is so much LAUGHING in this “easy lover” video
Millie: dude YES!
Millie: this was one of those videos in the 80s that had the BLOOPERS ALREADY IN THE VIDEO
April: built-in bloopers!
Millie: the making of the video WHILE THE VIDEO IS HAPPENING!!
Millie: psych your mind!
April: clearly the plight of the hobos was not on phil’s mind this day
Millie: haha not with that decorative squiggle behind them
Millie: okay, it fucking PISSES ME OFF that someone like phil collins would never be famous in this day and age
Millie: like someone’s CHEESY DAD would never be famous now
April: no one older than 22 can be famous now.
Millie: i mean, this was on MTV
Millie: that totally blows my mind
April: and those dudes are SUCH DADS
Millie: hahahaha BOTH of them are
April: I KNOW!
Millie: like they were neighbors who decided to do a song together
April: like, yeah, this is a jam, but this is totally if TWO DADS MADE A MUSIC VIDEO
Millie: HAHAHA at the mall
April: hahaha yes!
April: i hate the present.
Millie: hahahaha “two dads made a music video”
Millie: fuck, what happened to our youth?!
April: i’m saying.
April: like, i remember being a kid — and like every kid, concerned with being COOL to a degree — and i still liked this shit
Millie: there was a host of DADS MAKING VIDEOS back then though
April: today you would be CRUCIFIED in high school if you liked dudes who looked like this
Millie: like shitty billy joel videos, rod stewart
Millie: they don’t exist!!!
April: i mean, they TURN DOWN THE MUSIC IN THIS VIDEO SO THESE GUYS CAN LAUGH OVER IT
Millie: i mean, think of ONE person who is that old and lame who is famous right now
Millie: that even makes it on vh1 or MTV
April: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA “who is that old and lame”
April: no, you’re right! you’re completely right
Millie: it makes me want to cry
Millie: phil collins makes me want to cry
April: me too! if you’re not a totally polished, skinny fetus, you can’t be famous.
Millie: he’s like someone’s cheeseball dad who likes 60s music
Millie: and he’s just trying to put it out there
Millie: in the 80s that is
Millie: same thing with billy joel
Millie: like i want to cry
Millie: thinking about how billy joel is your dad in his soda shop themed basement
April: listen, i’m going to say this right now: everyone tools on him, but p. collins GOT SOME JAMS
April: well, billy joel i got less time for
April: i don’t give a care about that dude
Millie: i used to not, but i’m coming to terms
Millie: coming to terms with b. joel
April: but how old was phil collins when he made it?
April: like when he joined genesis?
Millie: god, he SEEMED 60
April: because yeah, if you are trying to JUST get famous today at, like, 40? HAVE FUN WITH THAT
Millie: then again he seemed 60 at all times to me
April: like today that is IM. POSS. I. BLE.
Millie: dude, i fucking love, love, LOVE when people get famous at 40
Millie: and not in a reality TV show kind of way
April: oh no, me too!
Millie: but when actual singers/writers/actors/comedians/whatever get famous at 40 or something
April: i mean, all my favorite famous people are, like, 40+
Millie: or like when old people form a band and they make it
Millie: so how old was phil collins when he got famous then?
April: peep out wikipeedz
Millie: hold pls
Millie: okay, he was born in ‘51
Millie: apparently joined genesis sometime around 1970?
Millie: went SOLO in 81 though.
April: so maybe he’s one of those “born old” dudes?
April: because i swear he looked like a dad ALWAYS
Millie: so he was 30 and looking like that?!
Millie: wait, let me figure this “easy lover” riddle out
Millie: FUCKING SHIT
Millie: he produced that song “there’s something going on” by frida
Millie: i love that fucking song!
April: phil collins did?!
Millie: this wikipedia page is Fact Heaven
Millie: okay, “easy lover” was 84
Millie: he was 33 years YOUNG
April: that motherfucker looks MID-50s, easy
Millie: phil collins was only three years older than us.
April: NO WAY is he THREE YEARS OLDER than us in that shit!
Millie: he looks like our fucking DAD in that video!
April: he looks DADDIER than my dad in that shit!
Millie: i think i know actual 60 year olds that look younger than phil collins in that video
April: especially their WARDROBE CHOICES
Millie: but phil collins was all about wearing suits with sneakers
Millie: like “hey, i’m just a regular guy”
April: and it’s like, now, it’s the age thing AND the regular guy thing — you can’t do EITHER
April: if you want to be famous, it’s like you have to be YOUNG AND RICH ALREADY
Millie: this conversation is making me want to cry
April: i know.
April: i hate youth.
Millie: “he looks DADDIER than my dad”
April: HAHAHAHAHAHA he does!
April: like phil collins in that video makes my fucking stepdad look like a SMOOTH OPERATOR
Millie: well he makes us look like PRESCHOOLERS then
Millie: if he was 33 looking like that
April: no shit right!
Millie: and ACTING like that!
Millie: which is even MORE disturbing
Millie: that he was THAT cheesy at 33!
April: like i said, now that i’m 30, the people that were 30 when i was, say, 12 or 13 seem like they were 100
Millie: oh TOTALLY! i read your thing about “thirtysomething” on twitter the other day
Millie: completely. and. totally.
Millie: i was like “i’m thirtysomething and these people seem twice as old!”
April: dude. i saw a commercial for that shit on DVD and was like, “NO ONE I KNOW acts like this. these are some OLD ASS FOLKS.”