New Perspective On Shit

Millie: i am listening to roxette
April: HAHAHA! “OF NOTE: roxette”
April: like, all the jams?
April: even deep cuts?
Millie: i mean.
Millie: a few deep cuts.
Millie: i might be ready to say this
Millie: but i don’t think there is any other band in history who has written more “pick me up in a convertible and drive me to the mall” songs
April: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
April: i love that as a GENRE
April: i guess i kind of can’t separate them from ‘pretty woman”
Millie: yeah, i understand
April: so i associate their love songs with “reforming my hooker into a woman i can love”
Millie: you know what’s hilarious though
Millie: think about this — if a band came out today and named
themselves ROXETTE, we would tool on them so hard
Millie: like, america would. or the internet
April: oh absolutely
April: people would think it was a joke
Millie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCorJG9mubk
Millie: i love how they both look like they would be on an episode of tabitha’s salon takeover
April: HAHAHAHAHHA
April: okay
April: okay
April: gear shift
April: WHO is that woman?
April: WHO is that puerto rican girl talking to james?
April: like, WHY is she qualified to TAKE OVER stuff??
April: i’m serious
April: what’s her BACKGROUND?
Millie: HAHAHAHAHAHA
Millie: did she get a degree in Fixing Businesses?
April: that’s what i’m saying!
April: every time i see a commercial for that i wonder
April: because you know what? i can march up in some business and yell at people. i can do that.
April: because i saw a commercial the other night, and she’s expanded?
April: like she’s not just taking over salons now?
Millie: right. she’s doing like gas stations and shit now
April: hahaha gas stations
Millie: HAHAHAHA i just laughed at the thought of that
April: but from all the commercials i see, it really just looks like her YELLING AT PEOPLE
April: like that’s the show
April: her coming in and just going, “GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER”
Millie: her walking into a gas station and telling some guy GIVE ME YOUR KEYS, I’M TAKING OVER
April: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
April: “this place is a mess”
April: and then, like, painting it neon or whatever
April: and putting couches in
Millie: “you’ve got these slim jims next to these garfield zippos here. why.”
April: HAHAHAHAHA and being SUPER ANGRY about it
Millie: i can’t stop laughing at the thought of her taking over a gas station
Millie: “putting couches in”
April: “what are your customers supposed to think when the rolling hot dog rotator cuff things are right next to the slurpee machine? it’s mixing cold and hot and it’s unprofessional.”
Millie: “you’ve got customers coming in and they haven’t been offered a frozen burrito. what kind of customer service is that?
April: hahahahahahahahaha
April: “i don’t see a give-a-penny, take-a-penny dish here! you call yourself a manager?”
Millie: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Millie: i’m crying!
April: hahahaha me too
April: just the idea of her mean ass screaming at people at a gas station
Millie: and like this 75-year-old man is just going, “uh, i guess he don’t know how to manage”
April: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
April: and the customers coming in and being like, “i just need some gas?”
Millie: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
April: like they walk in and it’s all neon with techno music playing
Millie: COUCHES
Millie: i can’t get over that shit
Millie: it’s all fake mod ikea looking
April: totally
April: and then people like my dad come in like, “i just need gas for my truck? and some smokes?”
Millie: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Millie: those are their “clients”
Millie: “i’ve canceled all your appointments for the week”
April: HAHAHAHHAHAHA