New Perspective On Shit

Millie: okay also
Millie: i saw a picture the other day of a tiger taking a dump
Millie: http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/p480x480/431230_10150597073070432_709525431_9515235_93693520_n.jpg
Millie: i mean, you very rarely see a tiger take a dump!
April: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA
April: it looks downright dainty!
Millie: isn’t that a weird realization to make!
April: you don’t often see anything taking a dump!
Millie: HAHAHAHAHA
Millie: yeah but out of all the animals
April: they played a gg allin video before this comedy show a while ago
April: and i was sort of captivated
April: only because you never see someone ACTUALLY dumping
Millie: WAIT! did he dump on stage
Millie: YES!!!
April: like you might walk in on someone sitting on the toilet, yeah
Millie: (wait, i’m not YES!!ing the dump)
April: but you never see SHIT actually coming OUT OF someone’s asshole
April: it was so weird
April: especially weird because was standing on stage and shitting over the edge of it
April: and standing up straight! HAHAHAHA
April: like no crouch at all
Millie: STANDING DUMP!
Millie: wait, how did that happen?!
April: so just standing and letting the shit fall to the floor below the stage
Millie: how can you stand straight up and dump?
April: it was so weird looking
April: it just looked like prank fake snakes from fake peanut brittle cans coming out of his ass
April: like, leisurely
Millie: HAHAHAHA FOREVER
April: like i almost wasn’t even grossed out for a second because it was just so weird?
April: and i was so overcome with, “this is the FIRST TIME i have ever seen someone ACTUALLY shitting.”
Millie: right! like the act of
Millie: you always just see the end product
April: right! like he turned so his ass was to the crowd, stood, and let the shit fall on the stage/floor
April: it had a long way to fall too
April: so it was like, long?
April: nothing there to break it off
April: it was so fucking weird
Millie: WAIT
Millie: how are you producing logs while standing straight up
Millie: wouldn’t your ass cheex just get in the way?
April: i feel like in past gg allin videos we watched in high school, we just saw him throwing shit?
April: like i don’t remember seeing him ACTUAL AND FACTUAL dumping
Millie: haha yeah, him throwing shit and everyone RUNNING
April: but he wasn’t CROUCHING
April: i mean, maybe he bent his knees slightly
Millie: okay — just wanted to know the physics of that
April: i can’t give you the exact angle of his knees, haha
April: but he was standing pretty tall
Millie: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Millie: stand tall and proud, GG
April: and the shit had to make, like, a three-foot drop, minimum
Millie: let me ask you this
Millie: so like if you were able to see GG allin live today
Millie: knowing that he takes full dumps on stage
Millie: would you go?
April: FUCK NAW
Millie: just b/c i don’t think i could ever see a live dump
April: ARE YOU JOKING?
April: NO WAY MAN
April: i’m not trying to be in the same ROOM as a live dump
April: i mean, i only tolerated the video because of the momentary amazement of, “wait, i have LITERALLY never seen this”
Millie: i don’t know man
Millie: i never saw gg actually shitting
Millie: like i said, it’s always like “there was shit on stage already and he threw it”
Millie: i don’t know if i could do a video, even
Millie: wait a fucking sec
Millie: HOW were you able to watch a grown man shitting but yet couldn’t watch the ET porn?
April: well, again, it was the shock
April: like for a minute it was just me going, “oh wait, this is COMPLETELY FOREIGN to me”
April: and THEN i was like, “OH GROSS” and looked away