New Perspective On Shit

Millie: i just saw Sisqo eating in the cafeteria. based on the food alone, i don’t know if i’ve ever witnessed a harder fall from grace.
April: OKAY SISQO.
April: TELL ME NOW
April: was he eating SBARROS?
Millie: I can’t believe you just said that.
Millie: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH I AM LAUGHING MY ASS OFF
April: HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
April: did he still have SILVER HAIR BY KRYLON?
Millie: no! and he was NOT wearing an all white leather suit with an embroidered dragon on the back with no shirt on underneath
April: WHAT THE FUCK
Millie: I KNOW RIGHT?!
April: doesn’t he know he can’t leave the house without it?
Millie: i mean, how are we supposed to recognize him without sweaty, bikini clad dancers on platforms behind him
Millie: in CABO
April: what is he doing there, anyway?!
April: HAHAHAHAHA ENTER THE DRAGON
Millie: keith sweat has a reality show where he’s trying to get DRU HILL back together
Millie: like it’s CRUCIAL
April: WAIT WHAT
April: WHAT?!?!?!?!
April: fucking LOOK AT THE SENTENCE YOU TYPED AGAIN
April: REALLY LOOK AT IT
April: “keith sweat has a reality show where he’s trying to get DRU HILL back together”
April: ARE YOU FOR REAL?!?!?!
Millie: it’s almost as if it was GHOST TYPED
April: is this a REAL THING THAT IS REALLY HAPPENING?!
Millie: yeah, they felt it necessary to DOCUMENT THAT PROCESS
April: and why is he TRYING to get them back together?! does he have to TRY?! like any of those clowns are doing ANYTHING these days!
Millie: “the world just doesn’t feel the same without dru hill in it”
April: i love how it’s KEITH SWEAT’S RESPONSIBILITY to fix this problem
Millie: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Millie: keith sweat is the Great Mediator
April: THIS IS ON YOUR SHOULDERS, KEEF
Millie: “FACILITATE THIS REUNION OR THE WORLD WILL SURELY SUFFER”
April: “who is a real go-getter who could get this task accomplished?” “uh, keith sweat?”
Millie: oh, and you know the BIGGEST shocker?
Millie: the name of their new album?
Millie: “Indrupendence Day”
April: SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH RIGHT NOW
Millie: INDRUPENDENCE DAY.
April: wait, so it’s a foregone conclusion?
April: we ALREADY KNOW they will get back together?
Millie: the follow up to DRU WORLD ORDER
April: keith didn’t even really have to do anything?
April: HAHAHAHAHA GOD
April: never have titles been so far off
Millie: never has there been such a reach
April: like i love their claims of WORLD DOMINATION when NO ONE listens to those dudes
Millie: don’t you mean WORLD DRUOMINATION
April: “INDRUPENDENCE DAY” is borderline offensive to me
April: like, seriously, QUIT FUCKING PLAYING
Millie: they really crammed the DRU in there
Millie: it certainly rolls off the tongue
April: yeah, it really feels natural
April: i feel like their next album will be, like, “Amendments to the Constidrution”
Millie: HAHAHAHA, we need to anticipate their next five album titles
Millie: The Articles of Confedruation
April: The Gettysdrug Adruss
Millie: The Druisianna Druchase
April: HAHAHAHA i love how they’re all HISTORICAL
April: like dru hill had a real IMPACT on shit
April: i just can’t believe how conceited it is to call your shit DRU WORLD ORDER
Millie: i know right?! THE DRU WORLD ORDER (That Only Lasted Six Months)
April: hahahaha, seriously
April: did they have ANY hits?
Millie: i have a feeling that this new reality show is like, one episode
April: i vaguely remember their videos
Millie: keith sweat comes over and is like “hey, can we get this band back together” and everyone screams “YES PLEASE” and it’s over
April: HAHAHA FOR REAL! like, “hey, i’m keith sweat, will you guys get back together?”
Millie: “WE NEED THE WORK!”
April: HAHAHAHA EXACTLY
April: “WE’VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU TO ASK, SWEATY!”
Millie: “sisqo was working at ross dress for less when he got the call”
April: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
April: DRESS BARN
April: “we’ve had the songs for The Magna Druta just waiting to be put on wax!”
April: i’m running out of historical documents, haha
April: i can’t believe you SAW HIM EATING
April: please tell me he’s a DOLLAR MENUAIRE
Millie: i think he was eating like, shitty cafeteria pizza
Millie: hahahah awww
April: HAHAHA oh man, like RECTANGLE SLICES?
Millie: YES!!!!
April: DUDE I AM CRYING AT MY DESK
April: katie thinks i’m a total lunatic
Millie: HAHAHHAHA
April: i’m like “SISQO EATING HAHAHAHA AHAHAHA BWAHAHAHAHAA”
April: rectangular pizza slice is so LUNCH LADY LAND it hurts
Millie: I KNOW!!!!!!!!
April: HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA
April: i love how you go, “keith sweat comes over,” like dru hill lives together like the MONKEES or something
Millie: HAHAHA
Millie: they ride unicycles hurriedly through their shared loft
April: HAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA
April: can you NAME another dru hill member besides sisqo?! i swear, i could hit one of those dudes with my car and not know who it is
Millie: well the funny thing is, i looked at a pic of them and i swear there were like THREE DIFFERENT GUYS that i thought were sisqo
April: hahahahahaaaaa
Millie: but then i was like “wait, that guy is sisqo…why do those two OTHER guys look like him too?!”
Millie: like they’re in an aphex twin video
April: HAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAA