Millie: you there?
Millie: i just have to say GODDAMN I LOVE WHAM!
April: george michael = best voice
Millie: no shit man
Millie: it’s like, i feel bad for dudes who think wham is too gay to listen to because they were fucking GREAT
Millie: TOO BAD THEY WERE AWESOME
April: i know
April: i feel like most dudes can’t look past the short shorts and fingerless gloves
April: i mean, g. michael wrote some JAMS
Millie: i was watching the video for “i’m your man” and it’s like, have fun NEVER HAVING that much fun ever in life
Millie: can you imagine being in the crowd for the “i’m your man” video
April: BUT ALSO
April: real talk?
April: when i got dumped, i listened to “careless whisper” 5,000 times
Millie: oh my god, are you kidding? that is THE song to listen to when that happens
Millie: “i’m never gonna dance again”
April: i was seriously like, “i have never identified more with a song ever in my life”
Millie: GOD I BET
April: now re-peeping the “i’m your man” video
Millie: what a fucking FUN ASS SONG
Millie: like everyone is having THE MOST FUN EVER
Millie: like in all their videos, the crowds are about to eat people’s faces!!!!!
Millie: even in the “wake me up before you go go”
April: HAHAHAHAHAHA BAFF SALTZ
Millie: people are fucking WYLIN’
Millie: i love it
April: how can you not WILD OUT to this beat?!
Millie: like imagine being instructed, “hey, you’re gonna be in this wham video and you have to have the MOST FUN YOU HAVE EVER HAD EVER”
Millie: and then “i’m your man” comes on
Millie: and it’s like, the greatest funnest pop song ever
April: yeah, then you’re like, i don’t even have to TRY
April: NO ACTING NECESSARY
Millie: i just love how they didn’t fucking care how poppy and lame they were
Millie: they were like back-to-back with fingerless gloves going FUCK IT
April: also, listen
April: YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT SAX SOLOS
April: IN POP SONGS
April: i forgot that g. mikes is pretty bear-y in this
Millie: so i gotta ask
Millie: do you feel like you know him better after visiting greece?
April: okay listen
April: was kind of legit mad there wasn’t a monument to him or some shit?
April: or like a graceland-type place?
Millie: RIGHT?!?!?! is there not???
April: like his childhood home wasn’t bronzed?
April: wait, did he grow up there?
April: or whatever, his ancestors’ house
April: something should have been honored
Millie: yeah why isn’t there a walking tour of his grandma’s house
April: i mean, i guess i know his GAYNESS more after being there
April: after being in mykonos
Millie: look, if there’s a tupac memorial HERE, there should be a george michael tribute in greece
April: i’m saying!
April: where’s the greek music hall of fame?
April: it’s like him and yanni
Millie: there should be like a mount rushmore in greece of him, john stamos, and george michael
April: i love that we can’t think of a fourth famous greek person
April: the chick who made “my big fat greek wedding” ?
April: i seriously forgot that g.m. looks like michael mcdonald in this video
Millie: “michael dukakis?”
Millie: that would be like the wackest mountain of all
April: okay, you’ve simply forced me to watch wham videos all day now
April: “young guns go for it”! forgot about this ish!
April: legit FUNKY BASSLINE on this jam
April: LEATHER VEST AND NO SHIRT
April: holy shit how did anyone think this dude was straight for even five seconds
April: including me
Millie: in hindsight it was like, “we fucked up.”
April: i mean, i for real thought the “i want your sex” video was the most hetero thing of all time
April: but i also thought that about the “top gun” volleyball scene
Millie: oh god, i mean me too
Millie: it was just so masculine
April: but watching this i’m like, “so there was a time when teenage girls saw a dude on stage in a leather vest and no shirt and wanted to tap it?”
Millie: i mean at least in the video for “father figure” he was all feeling up a woman
April: i mean, in “i want your sex” he was basically FINGERBLASTING that asian woman on cam!
April: i was SO SCANDALIZED by that as a kid
Millie: god that entire thing. that video and song
April: like it was one of the first SEXY THINGS i saw and had SEXY FEELINGS about
April: that and the “love in an elevator” video
Millie: the song had like wet sex noises in the background for crying out loud
Millie: whatever that SOUND was
Millie: i guess it’s a synth
Millie: matched up w/ the EXTREME close up of those buttcheeks walking
Millie: COME ON
April: okay, this is a jam for real
April: i’m revisiting shit
April: “young guns go for it,” totally forgot
April: i mean this has some nile rodgers shit to it
Millie: GOD i’m listening to it too
Millie: shit is a jam
Millie: i love this bridget nielsen lady they sing to in this clip
April: hahaha yes!
April: GOD i love how SEVERE some ’80s chicks were
Millie: I KNOW
Millie: i love how confessional he is in this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yf_Lwe6p-Cg
Millie: I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU WANT FROM ME
April: “TO NOT BE GAY?”
April: GOD THIS SONG IS SUCH A FUCKING JAM
Millie: i’m telling you — how the fuck can anyone hate this
April: no shit right?
April: it’s just irrefutable
Millie: i honestly feel sorry for people who are homophobic
April: it’s like being like, “i hate food.”
Millie: because they miss out on the AMAZINGNESS OF WHAM
April: i’m no shit like dancing at my desk right now
April: that LA LA LA LA LA part
April: so on point
Millie: “WHY! I work so hard for YOUUUU!”
April: and then that bass part
April: “won’t somebody tell me”
April: in the background
Millie: another fucking jam: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFwOs-jy53A
April: i remember the girl who babysat for me when i was like 5 was SO IN LOVE with his ass
April: like wallpapered her shit with his picture
Millie: yeah i was really into him when “faith” came out
Millie: i remember i rode home with my friend on the bus the afternoon when MTV premiered the i want your sex video
Millie: we were like WE HAVE TO SEE THIS.
April: oh totally
April: i remember watching it at my grandparents’ house after they were asleep
Millie: yeah this girl was older than me and i was like SO SCANDALIZED
April: okay i might listen to “everything she wants” on repeat for the next three hours
Millie: but she was like, “um yeah, that’s what happens okay”
Millie: i can’t stop listening to “I’m Your Man”
Millie: i just can’t.
April: “UM, YEAH, THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS OKAY”
April: “a guy will write on your back with lipstick, that’s what sex is”
Millie: “you are pregnant now”
April: i mean, i also feel like people forget that george wrote all this shit!
April: NOT JUST A PRETTY FACE
Millie: TALENT AND A FACE TO MATCH
April: i wish he didn’t constantly fall asleep in cars now
Millie: wait, what?!?!
April: he basically gets arrested every day in england for falling asleep in his car in the middle of the street
April: i feel like he gets blown in a park and then goes to drive home and falls asleep
Millie: “well i got what i zzzzzzzzzzzz”
April: hahaha i swear i’ve read about him falling asleep at the wheel AT LEAST twice recently
Millie: i am so fucking googling “george michael asleep in car”
Millie: OMG!! http://www.cinemablend.com/pop/George-Michael-Falls-Asleep-At-The-Wheel-Again-1179.html
April: I DONE TOLD YOU!
April: hahahaha “again” is in the headline