New Perspective On Shit

April: teenage morgan freeman is legit starting to creep me out
April: just how there is NO EVIDENCE AT ALL
April: i feel like teenage morgan freeman is like some roswell-type shit
April: like area 51
Millie: I KNOW!!!!
Millie: maybe he’s a replicant
April: HAHAHAHA I’M SAYING!
Millie: he didn’t have a youth
April: really doe!
April: it’s some conspiracy shit!
Millie: i just can’t believe that there isn’t ONE PHOTO of him like, from the basketball team in high school
April: NO SHIT !
April: wait, when were yearbooks invented?
Millie: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
April: hahahaha kind of seriously!
Millie: when were they INVENTED
April: maybe he was in high school PRE-YEARBOOK
Millie: you mean, is there a 1800’s yearbook?
Millie: wait, was there HIGH SCHOOL back then?
April: well, when was the first yearbook?
Millie: like in 1901?
Millie: or were 12-year-olds still chimney sweeps?
Millie: wait, there had to have been high school?
April: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
April: WHEN WAS HIGH SCHOOL INVENTED?
April: also, we’re talking about america — 12-year-olds weren’t chimney sweeps, they were all FARMERS
Millie: but didn’t they ALL GO TO ONE ROOM, like “little house on the prairie”?
Millie: like school was one room
April: haha, yeah!
Millie: but it’s always little kids doing that
Millie: not like TEENS
Millie: ?
April: i think school was just over by 13 then
April: like you’d learned enough
April: because you were just going to farm anyway
April: 13 was like middle age!
Millie: you just learned how to count apples and then you got sent off into the workforce
April: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
April: WE KNOW HISTORY.
Millie: I THINK WE’RE QUALIFIED TO TEACH IT?
April: so, basically morgan freeman went to a one-room school
April: and it was PRE-YEARBOOK TIMES
Millie: but okay, despite the fact that he may have been a teen PRE-YEARBOOK in the ONE ROOM SCHOOL YEARS
Millie: i still feel like *someone* snapped a pic of him
Millie: like some creepy sepia top hat pic of him
April: oh yeah, like FAMILY PIX
April: SEPIA TOP HAT PIC HAHAHAHAHAHHA
Millie: or like in an olde tymey bathing suit
Millie: red and white striped
April: HAHAHAHA TOTALLY, all coney island
Millie: i just find it hard to believe that the earliest was in his MID 30’s
Millie: imagine not having ANY pics of you until like, FIVE YEARS FROM NOW
April: that’s what i mean! on the ENTIRE VAST INTERNET the EARLIEST anyone can go is mid-30s!
April: i googled “morgan freeman young” and got this: http://www.babble.com/CS/blogs/famecrawler/morgan-freeman-easy-reader.jpg
April: but motherfucker looks 40 there!
Millie: okay, i’m saying this teenage pic has to be a 50’s pic BARE MINS
Millie: like if he was born in ‘37
Millie: he’d been 20 in 1957
Millie: and that is clearly a 70’s picture
Millie: but it makes me feel like we’re CLOSER to this teenage morgan freeman pic
Millie: like there’s HOPE now
April: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Millie: i feel like i’m on that show “The First 48” or something
Millie: HAHAHAHAHA
April: HAHHAHAHAHA WE ARE SOLVING MYSTERIES