New Perspective On Shit

Millie: henry thomas messaged me on myspace
April: SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH
April: SHUT UP!
Millie: yes!
April: what did he say????????
Millie: i asked him if he was playing a show and he wrote me and was like “sorry millie, apparently i missed the boat this year - but i’ll be there next year!”
April: WAIT
April: henry thomas from “e.t.”
April: right?
Millie: i just wrote him back
Millie: oh my god, keep talking to me
Millie: yes!!!
April: he’s a SINGER/SONGWRITER NOW?
Millie: dude, YES
April: is his shit good?
Millie: it’s basically like iron & wine
April: ahhh
April: DAMN MAN Y’ALL ARE BFFS
April: that RULES that he wrote back!
Millie: DUDE I WANT TO BE BEST FRIENDS WITH HIM
April: MOVE HERE AND MAKE IT HAPPEN
Millie: he’s probably a total dick!
April: WHAT? naw
April: you can’t KICK IT WITH E.T. and be a dick!
Millie: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
April: he straight PROTECTED E.T.
April: dude is SELFLESS
Millie: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Millie: ALL THIS IS GOING ON A T-SHIRT
April: hahahahaha
Millie: HAHAHAHAHA
April: he did! HE PUT E.T.’s NEEDS BEFORE HIS OWN
April: hahahaha
Millie: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I AM DYING OVER HERE
April: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA i am too
Millie: haha you TRUE as hell because i would have straight LEFT E.T. HANGIN’
April: HE GAVE SO THAT E.T. COULD HAVE
Millie: he scared the shit out of me!
April: LEFT E.T. HANGIN’!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
April: I AM LOSING MY SHIT
Millie: HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA WHEN HE WAS WALKING ON THE BEACH WITH E.T. THERE WERE ONLY ONE SET OF FOOTPRINTS
April: “you’re on your own, e.t.! lates!”
Millie: dude, i would have buried him under some clothes and forgot about his ass
April: “HEY OFFICERS! E.T.’s OVER HERE! HE’S OVER HERE!”
Millie: “HEY DUDES IN SCARY HAZ-MAT COSTUMES: HERE IS E.T., YOU MAY NOW EXPERIEMENT ON HIM”
April: “HERE’S THAT WEIRD-ASS MOTHERFUCKER! SLICE HIS SHIT UP!”
Millie: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA SLICE HIS SHIT UP!!!
April: hahahahahahaha i am dying over you LEAVING E.T. HANGIN’!
Millie: HAHAHA seriously!! e.t. was the SCARIEST THING EVER to me when i was kid
April: i would have been like “take drew barrymore with you, while you’re at it”
Millie: i was like WHY ARE THEY FRIENDS WITH HIM
April: YO DUDE HE MADE THEIR BIKES FLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
April: what FRIENDS of yours could do that?!
Millie: THAT’S A SMALL PRICE TO PAY FOR BEING CONSTANTLY SCARED OF YOUR FRIEND
April: UH FUCKING FLYING BIKES
April: i’d have been in the MANSON FAMILY if they could have made my FUCKING BIKE FLY
Millie: okay, i need you to HANG OUT WITH A SMALL BURN VICTIM EVERY SECOND and be okay with it
Millie: and be like, “oh, he makes our bikes fly. he’s cool.”
April: HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
April: it’s not like they had to STARE INTO HIS EYES CONSTANTLY or some shit
April: or like HUG UP ON HIM FOREVER
April: they weren’t like SIAMESE TWINS with him
Millie: dude, they were ALWAYS CHECKING UP ON HIM and fucking wrapping him up in their blankets!!
April: hahahahahahahahahaha
April: i also love that E.T. = SMALL BURN VICTIM
April: hahahahahahaha
Millie: HUG UP ON HIM FOREVER
Millie: i am seriously CRYING MY EYES OUT laughing
April: HAHAHAHAA
April: I AM TOOOOO
April: like my abs hurt from this shit, haha
April: we are ARGUING OVER E.T.’s MERITS
April: HAHAHAHAHA
Millie: hahahahaha and how henry thomas is a GOOD PERSON because he PROTECTED E.T.
April: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
April: totally, like it’s one of his CHARACTER TRAITS
April: “you can trust that guy - he HAD E.T.’s BACK!”
Millie: or that he is THAT CHARACTER IN A MOVIE when he was 10 YEARS OLD
Millie: HAHAHAHAHA
Millie: and how he’ll WRITE ME BACK ON MYSPACE because of all that
Millie: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
April: “he’s one stand-up guy. he really did e.t. a solid back in the day.”
Millie: oh my god, i am in tears
April: HAHAHAHAHHA ME TOO
Millie: HE BROUGHT E.T. THINGS TO EAT AND DRINK
Millie: HE WILL WRITE YOU BACK
April: THAT’S HOW YOU KNOW HE’S SENSITIVE AND CARING
Millie: also, your fucking QUOTE OF THE CENTURY: “i’d have been in the MANSON FAMILY if they could have made my FUCKING BIKE FLY”
April: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAA
April: GOD, ALL I DID when i was a pre-teen or whatever was RIDE MY BIKE
April: if someone could have MADE THAT THING FLY, i would have TOTALLY ROLLED WITH THEIR CREW
Millie: but he had to have that fucking raisin IN HIS BASKET while they flying!!!!!!!!!!!!
Millie: it’s such a bad trade off!!!!!!!!
April: but at least his BACK WAS TO HIM
Millie: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Millie: HIS BACK WAS TO HIM
April: hahahahahahhaha
Millie: god, i want to get this entire conversation tattooed on my back
Millie: HAHAHAHAHA
April: HAHHAHAHAHHA