New Perspective On Shit

April: oh my GOD, throwing horns has been SO DILUTED
April: like, it means NOTHING now
Millie: I KNOW
Millie: it’s a total EMPTY GESTURE at this point
April: HAHAHAHA TOTALLY
April: like all of these skanks keep doing it into the camera, and all these fucking moms from, like, DORAVILLE at this bret michaels show are doing it too
April: it’s MEANINGLESS
Millie: dude, the song he has out right now, that played at the end of the “100 greatest hard rock songs ever” was SO FUCKING BAD
Millie: i was CRINGING
April: OH I KNOWWWWWWWWWW
April: is it the one like “you rock my world” or some shit?
April: i saw his newest video and wanted to DIE
Millie: yeah!! it is so, like, him trying to be sleazy but it doesn’t quite sound right
Millie: it’s like, “hey baby, come over here.”
Millie: “yeah, that’s what i like.”
April: HAHAHAHHAHA YES
Millie: “shake it girl”
April: UGH UGH UNNNGH
Millie: and i’m like ARE YOU READING THAT OFF A PIECE OF PAPER?!
April: HAHAHAHHAHAHAA
April: CUE CARDS
April: “yeah girl. do it to me. like that.”
Millie: EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Millie: it sounds like he’s literally reading them off of a piece of paper
Millie: he has no soul!
April: HAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
April: “HE HAS NO SOUL”
April: what’s that song called? i want to re-peep the video and re-cringe my face off
Millie: i can’t remember!
Millie: i need to find out
April: this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ap7-89YkCE
April: i think this is the one i’ve seen
April: where he’s all like ROCKING OUT
April: I’M YOUR FREAK SHOW BABY I’M YOUR CRAZY TRAIN
April: UUUNNNNGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH
Millie: SUNSET BOULEVARD. HOLLYWOOD HILLS.
April: HAHHAHAHAHHAHA
April: THIS SONG MAKES ME WANT TO MOVE AWAY
Millie: okay, the song is DRIVEN SINGLE
April: GOD THE SPOKEN WORD PART
Millie: http://www.myspace.com/bretmichaelsofpoison
Millie: that’s the song at the end of the 100 best hard rock songs
Millie: GOD THIS SONG IS FUCKING DISGUSTING
April: is there a video?
Millie: I HATE THIS FUCKING GUY SO BAD
Millie: i don’t know, let me see
April: YES WE CAN: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ap7-89YkCE
April: HAHAHA GURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
April: GOD
Millie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoYTx8WRTT8
April: I LIKE THE WAY YOU GRIND
April: ARFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
Millie: OH MY GOD I JUST BARFED
Millie: i mean, WHO LISTENS to that shit?!?
April: GOD SERIOUSLY
Millie: who like, JAMS that song in their car?!
April: like his grossness aside, this is just a FUNDAMENTALLY BAD SONG
Millie: i know! it’s like training video music
April: it’s so FAKEY “ROCK”
Millie: EXACTLY!
April: like people who think they ROCK SO HARD play this
April: people who say they “PARTY LIKE ROCK STARS”
Millie: right!! like someone’s dad made this video
April: people who are like, “i listen to HARD ROCK”
April: this is like VISUAL IPECAC SYRUP
Millie: yeah, without the vocals it would be like, the background music to a chili’s commercial
Millie: and then with him singing over it, it sounds like he’s doing BAD KARAOKE OF HIMSELF
April: HAHAHAHAHA FUCKING YES
April: EXACTLY
April: this was MADE to have lyrics about chicken fingers!
Millie: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA QUOTE OF THE YEAR
April: hahahahahahahhaa
April: you’re right though! it’s the fucking PERFECT THEME for a chili’s or applebee’s commersh!
Millie: this song is like the theme song to like, a fakey rock and roll bar, like a harder edged hooters
April: HAHA YES
Millie: like that place in alpharetta called ETHYL’S or whatever
April: like in a mike judge movie where the characters walk into a ROCK & ROLL BAR
Millie: that like is all about FIXING CARS
April: or like that place in “crossroads” where britney spears & crew have to sing for their supper
April: and she puts on LEATHER FINGERLESS GLOVES
Millie: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA